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DRINK & DRUGS NEWS :: Q&AYou ask the questions - you answer the questions. Please keep your answers coming, and feel free to email a new question. Thanks to this issue's respondents for their contributions. Question:I am being driven insane by my colleague. Not only is he unable
to keep his own workload under control, but he is patronising beyond
belief and treats me as if I am hormonal if I raise genuine concerns.
His work is getting shoddier and I am worried that his incompetence
is starting to affect service to our clients. How can I handle him
tactfully? [Anne-Marie, Cardiff] Your replies...Hi Anne-Marie Keep your cool! I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. My colleague patronised me in front of clients and acted like he ran the show - but came to me for support when he needed his ego bolstering or his records supplementing with my notes. People like this slow down the system by trying to transfer their inadequacies onto colleagues. If you haven't the time or energy to put up with this, get a grip of the situation, before it gets to you any further. Working in our field is challenging enough, without having to do someone else's job. I got to the point where I could barely deal with this man, and ended up losing my temper publicly. Don't let it reach this stage: choose your moment and tell him that you are willing to be supportive - but there are boundaries that he must respect if you are to work well together. Some people show total lack of respect in the most devious ways. Don't be fooled by back-slapping camaraderie if this colleague is undermining you. Good luck! Jennifer, Shropshire
Anne-Marie Waste no time in telling your colleague to get a grip! These people shouldn't even be working in the field if they can't see beyond their own egos. If he clearly can't do the job, have a word with your manager, or leave a few training leaflets on his desk. Whatever you do, don't put up with this any longer. There are plenty of people who could make your work environment stimulating and enjoyable - seek them out! Kim, Southampton
Dear Anne-Marie Your situation sounds frustrating and de-motivating so all credit to you that you wish to sort it out 'tactfully'. I'm concerned to hear that your colleague (especially given the field we work in), is treating you disrespectfully. If he actually calls you 'hormonal' then he's being sexist which should be treated seriously. As you've tried to raise your concerns and he's proved reluctant to listen you can either say to him very assertively 'I feel like you're not listening to me and I really need you to'. If that fails, something you could try is a meeting with a third party present (preferably a line manager) who would be a witness and mediate and clarify if necessary. You could come with a list of things you would like to be different and how you'd like that to happen. Being solution focused will stop you sounding like a whiner and show how committed you are to a positive outcome. Whilst in the meeting, you could ask your colleague and third party for their suggestions on how to improve things. I'd also suggest making your list and any feedback you give your colleague as specific and detailed as possible so that he both is clear about, and can't wriggle out of, any agreed changes. Good luck, difficulties with colleagues are very disheartening not to mention the effect they have on service-users Linda Spence, by email
Anne-Marie He is obviously an insecure man worthy of your contempt - or sympathy. How dare he attribute changes in your behaviour and work patterns to your hormones. You have the right to be judged on your performance in your job and to be treated with respect by your work colleagues. This person is obviously trying to undermine you and cover for his own inadequacies - don't let him. You have a duty to stand up to this type of behaviour and should confront him about it, the sooner the better. He obviously thinks this kind of bullying behaviour is acceptable, you have a chance to show him it is not. If you don't put him firmly in his place now he will continue to act like this. Maria, by email
Dear Anne-Marie The first thing you have to remind yourself is that he is the one acting unprofessionally. You need to ensure that you do not get pulled down to his level. It would be all too easy to find yourself trading insults with this guy and that would be a disservice to your employer and yourself. You should find the time to speak to your colleague in private and explain your frustrations with his attitude, it is possible that he is unaware of how he comes across and does not intend to patronise. If this is the case it does not excuse his behaviour but you will at least have given him the chance to change. If this does not work you have the option of taking the matter further through a formal complaint to your line manager or to your human resources department. This type of complaint can be extremely difficult to prove as I'm sure he will deny saying things or will claim that you have taken his comments the wrong way. Never the less if you do feel strongly about this you have the right to have your complaint taken seriously. Organisations often have dinosaurs such as this on the premises - often they are tolerated with an 'oh you mustn't mind old Fred type attitude'. While being 'stuck in his ways' is not an excuse, you do have to weigh up the pros and cons of making a formal complaint, against how possible it is for you to ignore him and concentrate on your own work. I know you shouldn't have to, but by rising above it and maintaining a high standard of work yourself it will highlight his own failings and ultimately this is what will find him out. Sally, Worcestershire
Dear Anne-Marie My feelings are very clear on this and I feel if you search your heart so are yours. Yes you want to be fair to a colleague, as one should - especially in this cut and thrust climate at present. Yet this seems to be, by your letter, a situation that has already gone possibly too far. You mentioned his workload and inappropriate behaviour when pulled up on 'shoddy' work. I have every sympathy for you Anne-Marie - yet to be perfectly frank, I have more for the clients of this inadequate at best, and downright obnoxious and offensive at worst, so-called professional. I am so sorry my friend, this is no time for kid gloves. Very rarely do service users 'get away' with unacceptable engagement. This is a menace to service users and colleagues alike - but at least colleagues haven't possibly got their script, treatment, or God forbid liberty, in this fool's hands. On the other hand, there is this person's career at stake. Think carefully - is it an aberration, is he having personal problems or could there be other socio, environmental or psychological reasons? If he has been consistent, then in this field, bad treatment and bad advice can kill. I do apologise for being dramatic, but the reality is there. Anne-Marie, you should do something. What if something other than stupid or offensive remarks and 'shoddy' work happens. Some people just should not have caseloads, and as someone who has tried very hard since recovery to get into this field, I have not had it easy. Now my foot is on the bottom of the ladder, I had better watch out as this one falls... he may knock me and others off. Why should service users have to be cursed with bad workers when there are obviously good ones out there Anne-Marie? You know what to do - it's up to you. Good luck. Do seek good advice before you do anything though. Take a watertight approach, I suggest. Fight the good fight Anne-Marie. Tony B, Glos
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