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DRINK & DRUGS NEWS :: Q&AYou ask the questions - you answer the questions. Please keep your answers coming, and feel free to email a new question. Thanks to this issue's respondents for their contributions. Question:I'm on a degree course, studying to become a counsellor and one of my friends, who I'm living with, is binge drinking to excess. When I try to speak to her about it she laughs and says she can handle it, but I can see it's starting to affect her life dramatically. She doesn't seem to think it's a problem - how can I convince her that it is? [Charlie, Manchester] Your replies... Dear Charlie You can't convince her, she is an adult and it is up to her to make her own decisions. All you can do is provide her with the evidence on the ill effects of excessive alcohol consumption and allow her to make up her own mind. You also need to take a step back; just because you are training to be a counsellor doesn't mean you are an automatic expert on how much is the right level for individuals to be drinking at a particular stage in their life. A lot of people drink more than the recommended daily alcohol levels when they are at university, and yes this sometimes leads to them doing things that they may regret, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they will continue drinking too much and will do themselves harm. While I applaud your concern for your friend you must remember that, as a counsellor, you will be dealing with people who have approached you for help. So far your friend has not done this. Finally you owe it to yourself to have fun and not create a situation where what you are doing can be seen as preaching and you can be branded a complete killjoy. Look out for your friend, have fun with your friend, and be there if she needs you. Grant, via email
Dear Charlie The fact that you're training to be a counsellor is almost irrelevant - it's your role as a friend that is the key here. And the fact that you're so worried and concerned suggests to me that you're a pretty good one! You don't say whether your friend is also a student. If she is, it's possible that she's just enjoying her student years and that she will calm down afterwards when she starts work. It must also be said that she is a free agent and is largely entitled to do as she wishes. However, you are her friend and are clearly worried. I'd suggest taking her for a coffee and talking to her about it one more time, stressing how concerned you are. If that fails, I think you may have to back off and let her work it out for herself. Ian, by email
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