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DRINK & DRUGS NEWS :: Q&AYou ask the questions - you answer the questions. Please keep your answers coming, and feel free to email a new question. Thanks to this issue's respondents for their contributions. Question:My son is a university graduate, who's doing well at work. He drinks now and again, and is a non smoker who exercises regularly. He has admitted to me that sometimes on a night out he takes cocaine and other drugs. He doesn't see this as a problem and tells me that it is just part and parcel of modern Britain. Should I be concerned? [Marian, Merseyside] Your replies... Dear Marian Ninety five percent of drug use is 'recreational' - only five percent of people who use drugs do so in a problematic way. Drug use (especially the so-called party drugs like cocaine and ecstasy) has become totally normalised among young people and it is easy to understand why. Years of drug information and education that just demonised drug use and drug users has been discredited by young people's actual experiences. People have for a long time questioned why alcohol should be the only legal intoxicant and helped by the increased availability of other drugs, many want to get their highs in other ways. Very few of these young people go on to become problematic drug users, in the same way that few drinkers become alcoholics. Of course there are some health risks associated with this behaviour, such as strain on the heart and increased blood pressure but as a young healthy man, who you say only uses occasionally, he is a relatively low risk - would you be concerned if he had other statistically far more dangerous hobbies such as rock climbing or playing rugby? One of the main risks of drug use for most young people is the illegality of their actions and the possibility of being arrested, which can affect careers, travel plans, finances and even in extreme cases personal freedom. There are ethical problems with using some drugs, especially cocaine, which helps to fund serious criminal organisations both in this country and overseas - but this moral issue is a personal one for your son to decide. I of course understand your concern for your son, especially when he is engaged in an activity that you yourself have no experience of, but there is a lot of good impartial information available on this subject. Reading this will help you make your own informed judgement on the risks being taken. Your son sounds like an intelligent individual and your relationship with him appears open and trusting, allowing him to come to you if he ever has a problem. Responding to him as a responsible adult is the best support that you can give him. Benny, Norfolk
Dear Marian It sounds like you're going to speak with your son again about this matter. I feel it's very important to think carefully first, and your approach should be considered properly. He's told you he sometimes takes cocaine and mixes other drugs on a night out and because of this you are concerned - and as a mother, rightly so. What do you do, you're asking, what shall I say? Will I lose his trust? How can I measure his drug-taking? How about thinking of harm reduction strategies in preparation of your next talk, get him involved in why such a special individual like himself needs to be pigeonholed with others. He's not part and parcel of others' behaviour, he's an individual in his own right. He sounds like a well-balanced young man with a bright future. It's picking the right time to talk, as with anyone that we feel may be at risk - when they are receptive to the information on offer, not when they are intoxicated or not listening. I feel this is a golden opportunity to challenge his behaviour through equal sharing - you'll both learn a lot. You'll be surprised how, by bringing him to awareness at this early stage, your concerns will hopefully trigger a process of change in his drug-taking before an addiction can manifest itself. Remember, take a calm approach. See him when he's home again and have a talk. You'll find the words. Chris, Newcastle
Dear Marian Your son is right, drug-taking is part and parcel of modern Britain - but so is the damage that drugs do. There's a limit to what you can do here. If your son is still away from home - he's already broken his bonds with parental authority and is testing his freedom. He may well be testing your reaction, or he may well be keeping you in touch with his lifestyle - it's hard to gauge your relationship with your son from your letter. I would suggest responding as calmly as you can. Don't be shocked or judgmental, but don't condone his drug-taking either. You will find an opportunity to tell him to go easy on harmful substances. Most students leave their experimentation behind when the novelty wears off. Jenny, Oxford
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